


Agony Sloth's Column, Marylebone Monthly Illustrated

by Small_Hobbit



Series: The Marylebone Monthly Illustrated [20]
Category: Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-20 03:02:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20668226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Hobbit/pseuds/Small_Hobbit
Summary: All sorts of questions are sent to Agony Sloth.  Here is the latest column.





	Agony Sloth's Column, Marylebone Monthly Illustrated

**Author's Note:**

> Written for DW's Holmes Minor "Ask a stupid question" challenge

_I have been offered a job at an extremely good rate, but with one rather strange condition. Should I take it? V_

Dear V, on no account consider taking this position. It Will Not End Well

_It has been suggested I take a sea voyage for my health. Would you recommend it? M_

Dear M, if your health would be improved by escaping justice in this country, your voyage may come to an untimely end.

_Will she love me tomorrow? F_

Dear Ferret, if past examples are anything to go by, probably not.

_Is there a fool proof way of ensuring waistcoat seams don’t split? M & A_

Dear Mouselet and Aemelia, see the above answer.

_How do you solve a problem like Maria? N_

Dear Nuns, you have written to the wrong publication.

_I have been asked to look after a valuable piece of jewellery. Is it best to take it home and keep it in my bedroom? H_

Dear H, you have a perfectly good safe at your place of business. We recommend you make use of it.

_Is suffocation by tea cosy legal? M_

Dear M, the question arises as to whether it was accidental or a deliberate act. In that the holes for the spout and handle would need to be sewn up this could be taken as being planned and therefore we would advise against it.

_There may have been a small misunderstanding with my landlady. How would you recommend I proceed? SH_

Unless you wish to undertake suffocation by tea cosy, gin is the best answer.


End file.
